Jitterbug by Kennedy

Jitterbug by Kennedy - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

A jitterbug. That’s seriously what I was before my junior year of high school.

Ever since I was younger, I was always full of nerves. I would always stick to eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because it would never disappoint me. I would talk to the same people because I was scared of making the first move with others. I would think that whenever anyone laughed in my 5th-grade class, they were laughing at me. I would have my brother order for me at restaurants. I would save my gift cards at age 10, fearful that I wouldn’t have money as a college student. When I was about 6, I didn’t even want to have my birthday party at Chuck E Cheese because of the monster that I saw so many kids get stuck in… the Ticket Blaster. Now it doesn’t sound terrifying, but I was scared out of my mind. It was this 6-foot plastic tube that I would be stuck in, and everyone would watch as I try to catch tickets that are flying around me. That sounds like complete humiliation, and I was always nervous that I wouldn’t catch any tickets and everyone would laugh at me.

This is what was going through my mind 90% of the time before junior year. I thought this was normal. I thought everyone would shake when they thought about going to school or talking on the phone. Were there people out there that seriously didn’t overthink everything that they said? I knew that I needed to get help. Especially as I was taking harder AP classes in high school, I realized that my anxiety was getting way out of hand so I decided to go to the doctor. Then I got medication for my anxiety and of course, it’s not completely gone but it’s been an upward projection ever since.

I am now the student council class president, giving a speech in front of my whole class in a few months, and I’ve jumped off a 30 ft. cliff. I’ve definitely gone out of my comfort zone and I’m so glad that I did. If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be to stop worrying. Just go out and have fun, because if you don’t you’ll always regret it.